# Appendix Test

## Alex Fernández (elyxer@gmail.com)

Table of Contents
List of Figures
List of Tables

# Part 1.Of How Our Hero Came and Went

# 1The Coming

Our hero came in. He was tired. He thought the world belonged to him.

## 1.1The Meeting

Our hero met with Laurinda. She was smiling. But our hero was not amused. His whiskers were dripping wet, he was astonishingly thirsty, and the contradiction was killing him. “Give me some beer, woman!”, he ordered.

## 1.2The Melting

Laurinda smiled again. “But Wenceslau, you don’t belong here.” What a stupid thing to say at that precise moment, our hero thought to himself. Only that it came out loud. At that precise moment he knew that the desired beer would not be forthcoming.
He turned to the bartender and tried to obtain a beer by the very old method of purchasing it. But being ignored was not one of Laurinda’s specialities.

# 2The Going

It could not last. Laurinda’s hips were flapping, and she was hopping mad.

## 2.1Our Hero’s Imagination

Our hero imagined her as a rabbit with long ears and a fine set of tusks. In a short time the image drifted to a walrus, and our hero could not help letting his sinister smile giving him away. Figure 2.1↓ shows a gross approximation of the rabbit-walrus.
Figure 2.1 The rabbit-walrus.

## 2.2Laurinda’s Anger

“Wasn’t it great”, said Laurinda. Actually she said it in the present tense, but our poor storytelling skills have changed that to a cheesy past. Don’t do this at home, kids. You want to be regarded for your authenticity, and misquoting isn’t going to help much.
Anyway, back to the story. Laurinda wanted to hit him in the head with a big ham that she kept just for occassions like this, and being a solid Hitchcock fan she was ready to cook the ham afterwards and serve the resulting stew to any policemen that might come by. She was also a huge Almodóvar fan, but she was unaware that in an early film the divine Pedro had copied the scene. Actually both directors had copied the idea from a short story by Roald Dahl, very much worth reading. Although it must be said that in this story it was a lamb leg, which hardly offers the consistency and stiffness necessary to kill a sturdy husband.
But who cares. Laurinda meanwhile had a funny appearance; if you want to see why please direct your eyes to figure 2.2↓.
Figure 2.2 Laurinda’s anger pictured in a mildly humorous tone.
And yet, how furious was really Laurinda, whom we may optionally refer to as Melinda from now on? Table 2.1↓ vainly attempts to quantify it.

Anger | Time
1 | 2

Table 2.1 Laurinda’s anger as a function of time.
For the sake of Laurinda’s furiousness, here is figure 2.3↓ again.
Figure 2.3 Laurinda’s anger, again.
But how did Laurinda compute her anger? We cannot but speculate; here is a stupid suggestion in listing 2.1↓.
anger = time - 1
Algorithm 2.1 Laurinda computes her anger.
The result is in table 2.2↓, proving we were right all along. Also subtables a↓ and b↓ show anger and time, respectively.

Anger
1

(a) Only Anger.

Time
2

(b) Only Time.
Table 2.2 Laurinda’s anger quantified, divided in two.
Interested in that last table? Let us repeat it but without a label and with a table and a subtable a↓.
Censored
(a) The rabbit-walrus does an encore.

Anger | Time
1 | 2

Table 2.3 One more time.

## 2.3The Passing Away

Our hero was passing by the village. He had only stopped to say “Hi!” Again here our lousy skills have made us spoil the quote, but this time for the opposite reasons: everyone knows how to say “Hi!”, so we don’t need an actual quote. It is enough to report that the had stopped to say hi, even maybe qualifying it a bit to make do for the missing exclamation sign: he could have stopped to say a friendly hi. Getting all literary he could have stopped to say a longing hi, although this road leads to bizarreness. It could be cool though.
But anyway. Laurinda was so mad, so hopping mad that she called her friend, the Assassin. He was not in town at that precise moment, but that didn’t help our hero as he was just outside town killing people in a small barn. Just for practice.
Our hero left the village, but Laurinda cunningly annotated the MAC address of his laptop’s wifi card. The lack of networking knowledge on the part of our hero (who really couldn’t tell a SYN packet from an ACK) was to play an important part in the story — if he had known how to change the MAC address, which identified him with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel, he would have been safe.
Let’s not even get into that last scalpel metaphor, shall we not? It leaks worse than the Titanic.

# Part 2.Of How Our Hero Went No More

# 3The Killing

Our hero led a happy existence for a long time afterwards, randomly avoiding all points within connecting distance of a wifi network. It could not last.
Our hero went to the next village, found a friendly Moonrams cafe and connected to the net. Quickly the assassin (who knew the very people that run the internet, and who by this display of nerdiness no longer merits the starting capital letter) traced a bunch of IP packets coming from our hero’s MAC address. He deployed a team of murderous African bees, which as surely as a well-cared-for AK-47 reached our hero and killed him with three fast stings. Of course they died afterwards, being bees and all, so it was an astounding feat this training of wild African bees just for this one murder. Maybe the Assassin merits that capital letter after all.

## 3.1The Passing Away

Our hero was undone. He was no more. He was, actually, an ex-hero. We shall narrate his wake soon.

- But first a message from our kind sponsors. They want to present you the next section in this deeper inset.

  ## 3.2The Mourning

  Everyone cried in the ceremony. It was so sad that we need an image of this moment. You can find it in figure 3.1↓. Mental note: never pay the artist beforehand.

Figure 3.1 A crude approximation to our hero’s mourning.
And thusly everything happened.

# 4The Mourning

We have already talked at length about the mourning, and under sponsorship no less, so no further details will be given here. Suffice to say that our hero was mourned. A lot.

# AThe Rebirth

Surprising everyone, our hero was about to make a comeback.

## A.1Coming Again

As it happened, our hero had never died; he had just faked his own death to find out his assassin. It was not difficult, what with the capital letter and all.

## A.2Two is Better than One

How to make another comeback? This is left as an exercise to the reader.

# BOur Recommendation to Kids

Never trust killer bees. Or Assassins.

## B.1Killer Bees and Their Perils

A killer bee cannot be trained consistently, since it will die at the first sting. Better use killing wasps — or, even better, solve your differencies talking.
For the sake of your education, check figure B.1↓. It shows a bunch of killer bees, or something.
Figure B.1 A gathering of killer bees. Supposedly.

## B.2Assassins: Inherently Unreliable

Someone who kills people (even for business) is not someone you want to deal with. Watch “Fargo” by the Coen Brothers if you don’t believe me. And remember: a hero under the belt is a feather on the hat.